drink some of this

Favors, Do Yourself One: On the Advantages of Professional Nude Modeling

I’m sure by now most of us who wanted to have seen the recent photographs of Scarlett Johannson. Some detectives have gone so far as to even study the wallpaper of the room she was in and deduce which hotel the infamous snapshots were taken in. Although my instant reaction was unbridled joy, I’ve had time to rethink my opinion on the matter. 

I struggle to understand why female celebrities have the urge to take nude photos of themselves. You’d think with their status, and with the knowledge that their personal devices are targets for hacking, that the would have the wherewithal to consider the possibility of these photos being leaked - if not by hackers then by those who receive them. I certainly applaud their initiative and I will defend to the death their right to take said nudey pics, but its just not in their best interest and you’d think they’d know that. 

That quibble aside, if they are planning on exposing themselves for the cameras, you’d think they’d have the decency to let a professional photographer do the work, and then sell the pictures to a respectable publication like Playboy. They can take home early proofs to show to whomever they were going to show them to originally, make lots and lots of money, be considered “brave” for making such a decision by certain critics, while still making fanboys exceedingly erect. In the business, we call that a win-win-win-win, or a quad-win. 

Rarely is it the case when a self-taken picture looks good. I have to admit that I do derive quite a bit of stimulation from the picture that has launched the “Johannsoning” meme, but the other picture of her laying on her side is not doing her bosom any favors whatsoever. Again, you’d think that a person who has been photographed hundreds, if not thousands, of times would understand a few principles of photography, not to mention the fact that she undeniably looked at those pictures before she sent them away.

So, famous chicks, if you’re going to take some naked pictures then have the common courtesy to take a few dozen before deciding on which ones to keep. They’re not all winners.

I think an important thing to take away from this is what it really says about Ms. Johannson. At the end of the day we can see that she is not so different from you and I. We all want our significant others to see our sleek and majestic revealed figures, we want to tantalize our lovers with desire. Just because she’s a movie star doesn’t mean she’s not simply a lady after all.